Fucking hell.

I don't know what to do. Right, so I completely fucked up during my audition for Theatre Arts. And as a result of that, I only got a maybe, whereas my stupid cousin got a definite yes. She was good, but she wasn't that good. And now I don't even want to do the course because of it. I was fucking humiliated before; this is even worse. It'd be like...I'm just fucking leftovers. I don't like being second picked. Either I fucking do it good enough the first fucking time, or I just don't fucking do it at all.

And why is it that everytime I actually get accepted into a course, or I even get a stupid fucking maybe, my confidence wavers, and I pull out? It's like I have no fucking confidence for anything. It's bullshit. I fucking hate all this. I especially hate school. It's the most stupid piece of bullshit ever. But apparantly you can't do anything without fuckface school. I fucking hate all this. And I'm fucking sick of being called "emo" just because I said that if I get rejected, I'm not applying for another course ever again.

I can't fucking handle rejection. I can't handle humiliation. And being rejected is the ultimate humiliation. But then again, so's being picked as a leftover. Fucking cunts.

Whatever. Acting isn't even my passion. Fuck acting. Writing and music is my passion. But I don't have the fucking skills to get into the music course, do I? And I'd probably just fucking humiliate myself there, too. Fuck this all.